/writings/

Official blog and geeky manifesto of The Ruku

Brainfart (or ‘How Being a Paranoid Whacko Probably Helped Me Interpret Music and TV shows’)

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Being someone who’s paranoid, insecure and -for a lack of a better term, batshit insane; it’s a tough life, especially when you throw “socially retarded” into the mix.

For those who don’t know me well (if at all), I overthink a lot, always try to read between lines and generally make sure there’s no hidden messages in anything and everything I come across in day to day life.

One might think this apparent distrust of everything makes for a frustrating time when it comes to communication and people in general. Sure, it’s a drag, but it’s also a fucking good thing. Overthinking, while annoying as fuck to all involved, is kinda a good thing. Especially when it comes to personal interpretation of various media.

For an example, let’s use a song. In this case, “Oasis” by Amanda Palmer. You may know it if you bothered to watch /videos/.

Basic gist? it’s a lovely little tune about an Oasis fan being raped at a party, getting knocked up and getting an abortion…

…Yeah, charming I know. Oh, she also gets called a crackwhore.

Now, this could be all there is to it. A little punk-cabaret fluff piece with enough questionable content to piss off Granny. I see it just a little bit differently though, like there’s a second layer beyond Oasis, rape and abortions. Let’s overthink this for a second, shall we?

Throughout the song, Amanda’s character has some pretty horrible shit happen to her. In spite of all this, she manages to send out a letter to (presumably) a band she’s a fan of. The band not only gets the letter, but reads it and sends an autographed photo back. Could it be the interaction with Oasis is more or less a metaphor for… I don’t know, anything good that happens in one’s life during a rough period? Looking at it like this, “Oasis” is a song that generally says “life sucks, but there’s always one or two things that make the bullshit worth it in the end”.

Dunno about you, but I feel rather impressed with myself working that out.

Another example is the South Park episode where Cartman and Kyle contract AIDS, thus sending them on a trek to see Magic Johnson who reveals the cure.
Not being one to just enjoy it for what it is. Part of me feels the message here is -in it’s own foul-mouthed way that with enough funding behind it, a cure for AIDS would become a possibility. Same goes for other life-threatening diseases. “Throw money at it for research”. Sure, it’s South Park, so it’s a long shot that it’s meant to have a moral behind the story (outside of if you play basketball, you have a distrust of banks, or “dear god, if people use that HIV-positive joke in public, they will be savagely beaten”), but thats what I took from it.

. Last time I felt this smart, I worked out that the dial on the toaster is a timer, not a heat setting…

…fuck you, that shit blew my mind okay? Nowadays I make pretty awesome toast AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY!

You wish your toast was this awesome.

In fact, I may cook some now and ponder what the fuck all that scat-singing bullshit in the first few minutes of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” is meant to mean.

The first monthly Rukusan.com “Bitch, Please…” award

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Came up with this idea for my ‘writings’ page while at work (regulars to the boards will remember that I don’t actually think about the job at work because it’s so. fucking. boring.). Hopefully I get my shit into gear and this will be a recurring event, hence the “Monthly” in the title.

The award will be given to the retarded, the insipid and the just plain “WTF” kinds of people who make society both great and not-great. It will be given to celebs, forum regulars, drinking buddies, etc. and much fun will be had at their expense.

So who is the prestigious winner of the first annual award, and why do they get it as opposed to all the assholes out there who I could have given it to?

The recipient has been the subject of my ridicule a while now, which pains me because I actually don’t mind the recipient, even in large doses. However, the comments she has made are just too bullshit-worthy to ignore.

The winner of the first monthly Rukusan.com “Bitch, Please…” award is…

Madonna
Entertainer, actress, Kabblah-blah cultist

Born Madonna Louise Ciccone, “Madge” has been rocking concert halls since the 80′s. Constantly reinventing herself, she’s remained one of today’s most popular entertainers. In between singing, wearing pointy bras and shagging her hubby, Guy Ritchie, she’s also managed to act in a few movies and plop out a couple of kids. Oh, and she’s also one of those Kabbalah types to boot.

She receives the award today after I read an interview in the paper regarding her new album “Hard Candy”. In response to a question about an Australian tour, Madonna replied with something along the lines of “It’s too far and it’s too expensive, but I’ll try to get down there”.

Can’t argue with that I guess, until you notice the slew of bands, comedians, artists and fucking dog food chefs who come down to Australia who aren’t even half as popular as Madonna. Some of these include:

-Tegan and Sara

-Death Cab for Cutie

-Kaki King

-Bill Bailey

-Dylan Moran

-Billy Corgan/The Smashing Pumpkins

-VNV Nation

-Moby

-Foo Fighters

and the list goes on.

I don’t know about you, but after reading that list, it seems that Madge’s bullshit doesn’t really hold up.

Don’t get me wrong, I can understand the “too far” bit, I’m a lazy guy and I can appreciate her also being lazy. But considering that Tegan and Sara, an indie rock duo who have only been around the last couple of years and don’t seem like the type to have millions of dollars stashed away like other more popular artists can get down here TWICE between last and this year, I can’t help but want to headbutt Madonna in the face for being a douche.

Not convinced? Alright… Kaki King. Kaki fucking King. has been down here twice recently, both as a guest/opening performer for other artists and to plug her own shit. When her first album was released in 1996, she was still waitressing at a restaurant/bar thing. you cannot tell me that -12 years after that album, she’s earnt even half of what Madonna can earn, yet she can still get her arse down here. So what the hell is Madonna’s fucking problem?

Granted, maybe the only album of Madge’s that is worth listening to is “Ray of Light” but surely album sales haven’t dwindled that much that she can’t afford a measly trip to Australia.

In any case, congratulations Madge, you’ve certainly earnt it.

Honorable Mention:

Chris Crocker, mostly for his big whinge-fest about how YouTube doesn’t love him

Zwan: A Retrospective

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Ahh Billy, where did you go wrong?

I loved the Smashing Pumpkins, every single last damn song… Aside from a few on Machina and Adore, that is. All in all, I was hooked. A fan, I even bought an overpriced imported “ZERO” shirt to be just like you.

Except with hair.

So time passes and the Pumpkins split, and in its ashes formed a new band. The Alt-Rock miniGod sayeth: “Let it be called Zwan”, and it was made so.

And for a time, it was good. Billy and his hetero life-mate Jimmy Chamberlin’ teamed up with David Pajo, Matt Sweeney and Paz Lenchantin (who, by the way, still sits in my top 10 hot rock chicks list to this day) to form the band and record an album.

As much as it was pretty ‘naff, I liked Zwan’s only album Mary Star of the Sea. It was an underdog of Alternative Rock, but was a good album on its own merits. While it was odd hearing Billy be all happy and not claiming the world is a vampire or that God was empty, songs like Lyric and Honestly were the soundtrack of my later years in High School and the fact it was something a friend bought for me because I was short on cash made the album all the more sentimental for little ol’ me.

Musically, the album was pretty tight. It faltered in some parts, but nothing that detracted from… you know the deal by now. All in all, a good addition to a Pumpkins/Corgan enthusiast.

However, it wasn’t all good. For some reason, it seems Billy Corgan (or Billy Burke, as it says in the liner notes… fucking weirdo) had a concussion and forgot all of what it took to make a hit album. My copy of MSOTS came with a DVD, which had little snippets of some fucking great songs like Spilled Milk, My Life and Times, God’s Gonna Set This World On Fire and my personal favourite Rivers You Can’t Cross.

As good as these songs where, they didn’t make it on the album.

Why Billy? Is the alt-rock miniGod himself doubting his own material? Did we have another Aeroplane Flies High in the mix where you’ll shove all the good shit into a boxset?

Before such questions were answered and around the same time a side project named Djali Zwan was mentioned, the band split like so many bananas in a retaurant… or something like that. Billy sited drug/relationship problems within the band, I personally think he caught someone drinking milk from the carton or something, but whatever.

It’s okay Billy, I’m not mad. I even bought your solo album when it was released (CameraEye FTW!), but seriously, nobody gives a shit about your egomaniacal hissy fits anymore. Time to start mellowing, you bald git.

Oh, and if you cause the Pumpkins to split again, I’m going to hurt you.

CD Review: An Horse – Not Really Scared

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So I kinda was a bit harsh on An Horse in my DCFC Concert review. I’m a bastard like that.

To make up for poking fun of their name and calling them bastard children of other artists (though admittedly, my calling them as such was positive, kinda), I thought I’d spend a little bit reviewing their debut EP “Not Really Scared”.

For those who TL;DR’d my DCFC review, An Horse are an indie rock duo comprised of Kate Cooper and Damon Cox, who have recently toured with other indie artists such as Tegan and Sara and (of course) Death Cab for Cutie. I also recently found out that they’re from Brisbane, which goes to show that Australia seems to be able to export more than teen angst anthems and pub-rock. Go us.

In one of those bizarre six degrees of seperation twists of fate, An Horse were discovered by Tegan and Sara during an instore appearance at the CD store Kate worked at. To cut a long story short, T&S basically said “hey, you should tour with us”, and off An Horse went, touring the ‘States with reckless abandon… Or something.

“Not Really Scared” opens up with “Postcards”, which just so happened to be one of my favourites from their set last night. From the tracks provided, I really can’t think of a better opening. The rest of the tracks are well written and sound great. Especially the tracks “Warm Hands” and “Company”.

Throughout the CD, it shows which bands they admire and are influenced by. I’m finding it hard to not compare them with Tegan and Sara as they do sound similar in a way (which really, isn’t a bad thing. I love Tegan and Sara). As much as I could whittle off a 30 second paragraph saying “oh, [track] sounds like [band]“, it’d be a cop-out review by that point. That’s not how I roll.

All in all, I can’t see any reason why I shouldn’t recommend An Horse’s debut effort to fans of similar music. What’s on show is definitely a great introduction to the group, though it does leave me wondering whether they could pull off an album’s worth of music and have the same result.

Again, I wish An Horse the best of luck in the future, and if this EP is just the beginning, then their future seems bright.

“Not Really Scared” is available through iTunes and the Valve Records online store

recommended listening: Postcards, Warm Hands, Company.

Concert Review: Death Cab for Cutie – Live At Enmore Theatre 18/8/08

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It’s been a while since there was an artist I didn’t download (or, if you’re an RIAA supporter, BLATANT STEALING FROM THE ARTIST’S POCKETS!) a few tracks for. In fact, Death Cab for Cutie was the first band in ages I actually bought a single for before committing to an album (mostly because I didn’t have the internet hooked up at the time).

That single was Crooked Teeth, and 3 albums (4, if we’re including Chris Walla’s solo album) and 1 DVD later, I’d say I’m hooked on these indie-rock minstrels. Not to the point where I’m stalking the band or anything, but hooked nonetheless.

So Imagine my delight when a concert was announced at the Enmore Theatre. I heard, I saw, I got in a day late and ended up paying for less-than-stellar seats, which was kinda a blessing really (more on that later).

So we head in and I head straight for the merch table in the hopes they have an overpriced tour T-shirt in fat-man sizes. Which they do. The Ruku is appeased. I also pick up an EP from the opening act, known as “An Horse”. After which we head in and find our seats.

So why were these seats a blessing? It was right above the entrance, which means there was no 8 foot tall giant with an afro sitting in front of us. Woot.

Minutes pass, and An Horse kick off the show.

So who the heck are An Horse aside from an error a grammar nazi will give you hell about? Think the bastard children of Tegan and Sara and The White Stripes, and you’ve pretty much got An Horse in a nutshell… Kinda. They’re really more leaning towards T&S rather than Jack + Meg White. If you want details, they’re a drums/guitar indie rock duo comprised of Kate Cooper (on guitar and vocals) and Damon Cox (on vocals and drums).

Despite the grammar nazi in me questioning their choice of a name (I guess ‘An Hero’ was taken by Kurt Cobain. Yeah, I went there), I was very very impressed by these guys. I really don’t expect much from opening acts I haven’t heard of, and usually it’s these bands that surpass any expectations I have/had and generally put on just as much of a good show as the band I paid money to see in the first place. My only quibble is that some of their songs sounded kinda samey, which -to use whats quickly becoming a catchphrase for me of sorts, doesn’t detract from their performance as a whole. Hell, if Linkin Park can get away with it for 2 albums, surely people will turn a blind eye to An Horse doing it. Besides, why fix whats broken?

All in all, I recommend An Horse. I also hope they stick around for a while, the world needs MOAR AN HORSE!

So An Horse finish and there’s another wait for Death Cab for Cutie who -as much as I tried, really couldn’t get all excited and panty-throwing about to begin with. Partly because I’m still a new(ish) fan of the band and I hardly know many of the songs outside of “Plans” and one or two on “Narrow Stairs”, so it was kinda like a similar experience of hearing your friend’s band play; you don’t know any of the songs and they all look rather silly. It was also partly because in my mind’s eye I thought Ben Gibbard was going to be this short-haired emo-glasses wearing chunky bastard, and not this rather trim looking mop haired chap singing at me.

So this went on for a little while… Until they started playing Crooked Teeth.

At this point, they could have ended the show there and then and I still would have been somewhat happy.

I -along with my wallet, am glad they didn’t. As they put on a fantastic show with some decent songs both recognizable and not-so recognizable for me (and some in between where I worked out what it was after a little while). They played almost all the songs I wanted/expected them to, including one or two extras I forgot about. My night would have been complete if they threw in “Talking Like Turnstiles” from the Crooked Teeth single or a few songs from Chris Walla’s solo album (though, it’s completely understandable that they didn’t do the latter, as it was a Death Cab, not a Chris Walla concert), but other than that, A good night was had.

Sadly, the experience of seeing one of my current favourite bands in concert was ruined somewhat by this noisy prick behind us who -after mere minutes of screaming like a dickhead, I wanted to grab him by the chops and throw him over the railing. Pants-on-head retardedness knows no bounds, it seems.

All I can really suggest amongst this fanboy-raving is if you’re a fan of Death Cab for Cutie (or indie rock in general), you really need to experience this band live. They’re brilliant performers and -so long as you don’t have a noisy asstard behind you, you won’t be disappointed.

First Impressions: Eternal Sonata(X360)

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cover art for the game

It’s a well-known fact I love me some JRPG’s. Shove a copy of Final Fantasy in my face and I’ll eat it up with a fucking spoon.

That being said, it’s a damn shame there’s not really a hell of a lot of decent JRPG’s for the Xbox 360. Blue Dragon (from the little I played) was pretty hit and miss, Enchanted Arms was annoying yet still kinda fun, and I’ve yet to play the 4-disc behemoth Lost Odyssey in fear it sucks me in much like World of Warcraft.

On a whim, I picked up an interesting title known as Eternal Sonata at JB Hi-Fi. I’ve only played 30 seconds of the demo on Xbox Live and didn’t think much of it. I figured for the slick price of $29, I wouldn’t be missing out on much if I hated it.

Thankfully, so far it’s been pretty good.

Eternal Sonata‘s story is quite interesting. The composer Frederic Chopin is on his deathbed and has a dream of a fictional world inspired by his life and music. You initially play as a young girl named Polka, who -due to a terminal illness, can perform magic. You eventually meet up with Chopin and other characters later in the game as an epic journey ensues.

Graphically, the game is top-notch. Utilizing cel-shaded graphics and giving the game a look of a 3D anime of sorts. The character models and environments look fantastic, as does the effects when magic is used.

Sound, also an achievement for the game. Using both original works by Motoi Sakuraba and pieces written by Chopin, played by pianist Stanislav Bunin. Sound effects are also pretty neat, though kinda typical JRPG fare.

Gameplay out of battle is standard sorta stuff. It kinda plays like Final Fantasy X, but with monsters visible and milling about. In battle, however is where the gameplay shines.

The usual route of a JRPG is pretty much select a command and watch the 2 hour long cutscene of your current playable character looking all awesome and ruining some poor monster’s shit. In Eternal Sonata, on the other hand, you are presented with a countdown clock and a selection of actions down the bottom of the screen. While the clock counts down, you have to run up to the monster you’re fighting and beat three shades of crap out of it. Kinda giving the game a neat little halfway point between pointless button mashing and turn based combat.
Any special attacks characters have are influenced by light and dark areas on the map. When in decent light, characters have “light” or “sun” based attacks, while in dark areas, characters have “dark” or “night” based attacks. Sounds kinda confusing, but it’s an innovative and creative technique for the game.

I intend on writing a proper review once I’m done with the game, but so far, I highly recommend it to JRPG fans, even as just a rental.