/writings/

Official blog and geeky manifesto of The Ruku

We’re doomed (or “/writings/ is so going on the blacklist for this”)

June 30th, 2010 Posted in Observations, Rants
Jun, 30 2010
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So over the course of 24 hours, we have a new Prime Minister.

Australia, that is. Not the Grand Islands of Rukadia.

I’m still baffled as to how this all came about, despite having it explained to me several times via friends and YouTube videos. Like, the mouthwords make sense, but the brain no worky… Or something like that.

I honestly didn’t think the Westminster Parliamentary System worked like that. Keep in mind it’s been quite a while since I took an active interest in politics, so excuse my ignorance here.

Frankly the actions of the Labor party seemed a bit on the backstabby side, and the way Kevin Rudd (former PM, hereafter known as “Ruddkips”) was given the boot without seemingly even given a chance to do his job properly was something I don’t agree with. As far as the Superprofits tax goes, bring it on. Frankly I can’t argue with knocking these huge corporations down a peg or two.

All the same, seriously, wow. New PM, who is a woman AND a redhead. Shit, if she was a muslim lesbian all the conservative party members’ heads would explode from all the minority-ness.

Pure left-wing evil.

The basics on our new PM are this: Julia Gillard, originally from Wales, moved to Adelaide and currently resides in Melbourne, she’s an unmarried childless Atheist who lives with her partner and -up until recently she was the deputy Prime Minister, and is also Minister for Education, Employment and Workplace Relations and Social Inclusion.

Considering Ruddkips was a church-going type and the opposition leader is a devout Catholic, something tells me I’m going to like this change in leadership. My main concerns at this point is Gillard bending to the mining corporations’ demands, her views on the internet filter, gay marriage and naturally, wondering if Carrot-Top will be elected as our secretary of defense:

He will fuck your shit up.

For the most part however, given that I don’t have a problem with many of Labor’s policies, there’s a fresh face in the Lodge and that it will take some serious cocksucking from the Liberals for me to even consider voting for them, I hereby welcome our new bloodnut overlord. *starts “four more years” chant*

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Brainfart (or ‘How Being a Paranoid Whacko Probably Helped Me Interpret Music and TV shows’)

June 23rd, 2010 Posted in Observations, Rants
Jun, 23 2010
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Being someone who’s paranoid, insecure and -for a lack of a better term, batshit insane; it’s a tough life, especially when you throw “socially retarded” into the mix.

For those who don’t know me well (if at all), I overthink a lot, always try to read between lines and generally make sure there’s no hidden messages in anything and everything I come across in day to day life.

One might think this apparent distrust of everything makes for a frustrating time when it comes to communication and people in general. Sure, it’s a drag, but it’s also a fucking good thing. Overthinking, while annoying as fuck to all involved, is kinda a good thing. Especially when it comes to personal interpretation of various media.

For an example, let’s use a song. In this case, “Oasis” by Amanda Palmer. You may know it if you bothered to watch /videos/.

Basic gist? it’s a lovely little tune about an Oasis fan being raped at a party, getting knocked up and getting an abortion…

…Yeah, charming I know. Oh, she also gets called a crackwhore.

Now, this could be all there is to it. A little punk-cabaret fluff piece with enough questionable content to piss off Granny. I see it just a little bit differently though, like there’s a second layer beyond Oasis, rape and abortions. Let’s overthink this for a second, shall we?

Throughout the song, Amanda’s character has some pretty horrible shit happen to her. In spite of all this, she manages to send out a letter to (presumably) a band she’s a fan of. The band not only gets the letter, but reads it and sends an autographed photo back. Could it be the interaction with Oasis is more or less a metaphor for… I don’t know, anything good that happens in one’s life during a rough period? Looking at it like this, “Oasis” is a song that generally says “life sucks, but there’s always one or two things that make the bullshit worth it in the end”.

Dunno about you, but I feel rather impressed with myself working that out.

Another example is the South Park episode where Cartman and Kyle contract AIDS, thus sending them on a trek to see Magic Johnson who reveals the cure.
Not being one to just enjoy it for what it is. Part of me feels the message here is -in it’s own foul-mouthed way that with enough funding behind it, a cure for AIDS would become a possibility. Same goes for other life-threatening diseases. “Throw money at it for research”. Sure, it’s South Park, so it’s a long shot that it’s meant to have a moral behind the story (outside of if you play basketball, you have a distrust of banks, or “dear god, if people use that HIV-positive joke in public, they will be savagely beaten”), but thats what I took from it.

. Last time I felt this smart, I worked out that the dial on the toaster is a timer, not a heat setting…

…fuck you, that shit blew my mind okay? Nowadays I make pretty awesome toast AND YOU CAN’T HAVE ANY!

You wish your toast was this awesome.

In fact, I may cook some now and ponder what the fuck all that scat-singing bullshit in the first few minutes of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance” is meant to mean.

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Movies That Should be in 3D

March 8th, 2010 Posted in Entertainment, Humour, Observations, Rants, Sights and Sounds
Mar, 08 2010
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Ahh 3D. Bringing our old-hat 2D films to life via the use of cinema trickery and goofy glasses which inexplicably get goofier as the technology improves. It’s certainly a novelty someone should experience at least once. That way, instead of retelling stories of life experience and passing on knowledge to their grandchildren, you can tell them you saw Avatar and how you felt you were actually there… Or something like that.

Shut up Grandpa, nobody gives a shit

Despite my apprehension when things are remade and remastered (though, I’ll certainly turn a blind eye if someone out there can make a Max Payne movie that isn’t tragically shit), there are just some films out there that were meant to be in 3D. What’s the point of using this technology if all you’re going to blow it on is Tim Burton movies and a movie which could very well be described as Pocahontas-meets-Fern-Gully on Steroids? Hollywood, if you’re listening, here’s some suggestions.

Back to the Future

A series of movies which made DeLoreans look awesome, Michael J Fox a household name (well, beyond “that guy in Family Ties” and later, “that guy with Parkinson’s”) and gave its fans a bunch of catchphrases which I’m sure will be passed on to later generations. I mean, calling someone a Butt-head is timeless, right?

Why it should be in 3D:

This one’s a no brainer. Despite bring nearly 30 years old now, the Back to the Future movies still pack a visual punch which completely complements the dialogue. There is no way you can convince me that a 3D upgrade of this is a terrible idea. I mean, you have a time-traveling vehicles, hoverboards, skateboards, cowboys, indians and of course, Biff Tannen.

"Wow, it's like Biff's actually there! ...Oh wait"

Why it shouldn’t be in 3D:

I could gush all freaking day about these movies, but let’s face it. Hoverboards don’t exist yet and it kills us. Having Back to the Future 2 in 3D will only add insult to injury.

On the upside, 2015 is only five years away.

Star Wars

Going with the “movies I grew up watching” theme, if we’re going to be seeing hoverboards and DeLoreans flying at our faces, why not the Millennium Falcon?

Why it should be in 3D:

I’m surprised this hasn’t been done before. With all the whoring Lucas does of his beloved franchise, he didn’t think “wait a second, we could just re-re-re-release the original trilogy in 3D” until after the release of freaking Avatar? Come on.

If you need convincing, think about the films for a minute. How many damned spaceships fly at the freaking screen in just the original Star Wars trilogy? About a million? Case closed right there.

Why it shouldn’t be in 3D:

Should we be encouraging George Lucas to keep whoring out Star Wars? Besides, if the original trilogy is released in 3D, we all know the prequels aren’t that far behind.

The Matrix

Despite spawning two kickass-yet-mediocre sequels and responsible for a metric fuckton of “bullet time” sequences in every damn conceivable format ever (I’m pretty sure they’re trying to bring it to FM radio now), The Matrix is a film which has firmly lodged itself into the collective minds of every sci-fi nut since it’s release.

Sure Keanu Reeves has a limited range of emotions but damnit, that film kicked the ass off of anything else released that year… Except for maybe Dogma, which also features a trenchcoat wearing hero. Does anyone else see a pattern here?

There are no Snoogans

Why it should be in 3D:

Not to keep fellating Back to the Future here, but “Think McFly! Think!”.

Tell me this wouldn't look awesome in 3D

The movie is already practically in 3D with all the bullet time and Matrix code going on. They may as well take that one step further and project Neo in all his bullet-dodging, kung-fu’ing, trenchcoat wearing glory onto your damn eyeballs already. Hell, even Reloaded and Revolutions would be worth seeing in 3D. Car chase, anyone? How about the humans raging against the machine at the battle to save Zion?

Why it shouldn’t be in 3D:

While I did say the sequels would be worth watching in 3D, they still won’t make any god-damned sense.

Watchmen

I’m sure I could mention other films in it’s place, like the equally good Sin City, but Zack Snyder’s Watchmen is by far my favourite comic book movie and one of the better movies that came out last year. While not even as half as well known as say, Spider-man or X-Men, the comic and the movie still manages to keep hold of a loyal legion of fans. The only disappointment I had with it is that I didn’t get into comics until recently.

Why it should be in 3D:

While there’s not as much to work with for 3D presentation as some of the other movies I’ve mentioned, it has it’s moments. Like the entire damn opening scene. Even the rest of the movie is enough to work with, if they play their cards right. Like you wouldn’t want to see Rorschach saying “Tell me what you see” inches away from your face.

Why it shouldn’t be in 3D:

Well… This could also be inches away from your face:

Serenity

What happens when you get a TV series by Joss Whedon canceled before it’s prime, lots of rabid fans and their unwavering support and a charismatic male lead who could easily out-badass Han Solo without trying? The space western movie Serenity, based on the TV series Firefly.

Serenity would be the Generation Y’s equivalent of Star Wars, right down to the story formula of “bunch of cocky rebels take on huge empire”. In fact, despite the fact I’m a huge Star Wars nerd? Totally prefer Serenity. Excuse me while I sit back and watch every sci-fi nerd’s head explode from that statement.

Why it should be in 3D:

In continuation of the “This generation’s Star Wars” theme, Serenity also has its fair share of space combat and firefights. Not to mention the complete clusterfuck of awesome which happens on Miranda. There is no arguing that watching Serenity in 3D would be a memorable experience.

Besides, we all want to get just that bit closer to Summer Glau

Why it shouldn’t be in 3D:

As it was based on a TV series and as much as Whedon did certainly try to make the movie as stand-alone as possible, you still need to know the basic gist of Firefly to understand what’s going on and frankly? You’re not going to be able to marathon even the key episodes of the show and then expect people to watch a two hour movie without some sort of discourse…. Or toilet breaks.

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The Purest Feeling: An open-minded look at ‘Pretty Hate Machine’

June 30th, 2009 Posted in Entertainment, Observations, Sights and Sounds
Jun, 30 2009
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Normally I’d reserve this shit for Twitter, but a 140 character limit isn’t exactly too forgiving and I intend to get my wordiness on.

Gave Nine Inch Nails’ Pretty Hate Machine a good listen just now, probably the first time in a few years to be honest (I was never a fan of PHM/Broken, even NIN’s magnum opus, The Downward Spiral I found to be a bit grating).

I mean I had the usual staples of “Terrible Lie” and “Something I Can Never Have” on rotation like any Nine Inch Nails fan worth their salt should do, but everything else I felt was pretty off-putting, considering this was the same guy who felt screaming “God is dead” at the top of his lungs was a productive form of stress relief.

So I chuck the disc in, intending to just crank up one of the songs that didn’t suck and then swap to something else. Then I got lazy and just left the disc playing through the tracklist…

…Then it dawned on me, like I’ve just ate shrooms and realized that humanity is all one consciousness or something: Pretty Hate Machine is pretty fucking good for a first effort.
Maybe not as lyrically deep as say, ‘The Fragile’ or even ‘Year Zero’ and let’s just not get started on the music aspect. But in spite of that, it’s still something worth checking out if you’re into the sort of music Nine Inch Nails does.

Hell, even if you’re a newcomer to industrial rock and don’t know Al Jourgensen from Al Bundy, check it out. Think of it as “My First Not-Quite-Industrial Album”.

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