/writings/

Official blog and geeky manifesto of The Ruku

Zwan: A Retrospective

August 29th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Rants, Sights and Sounds
Aug, 29 2008
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Ahh Billy, where did you go wrong?

I loved the Smashing Pumpkins, every single last damn song… Aside from a few on Machina and Adore, that is. All in all, I was hooked. A fan, I even bought an overpriced imported “ZERO” shirt to be just like you.

Except with hair.

So time passes and the Pumpkins split, and in its ashes formed a new band. The Alt-Rock miniGod sayeth: “Let it be called Zwan”, and it was made so.

And for a time, it was good. Billy and his hetero life-mate Jimmy Chamberlin’ teamed up with David Pajo, Matt Sweeney and Paz Lenchantin (who, by the way, still sits in my top 10 hot rock chicks list to this day) to form the band and record an album.

As much as it was pretty ‘naff, I liked Zwan’s only album Mary Star of the Sea. It was an underdog of Alternative Rock, but was a good album on its own merits. While it was odd hearing Billy be all happy and not claiming the world is a vampire or that God was empty, songs like Lyric and Honestly were the soundtrack of my later years in High School and the fact it was something a friend bought for me because I was short on cash made the album all the more sentimental for little ol’ me.

Musically, the album was pretty tight. It faltered in some parts, but nothing that detracted from… you know the deal by now. All in all, a good addition to a Pumpkins/Corgan enthusiast.

However, it wasn’t all good. For some reason, it seems Billy Corgan (or Billy Burke, as it says in the liner notes… fucking weirdo) had a concussion and forgot all of what it took to make a hit album. My copy of MSOTS came with a DVD, which had little snippets of some fucking great songs like Spilled Milk, My Life and Times, God’s Gonna Set This World On Fire and my personal favourite Rivers You Can’t Cross.

As good as these songs where, they didn’t make it on the album.

Why Billy? Is the alt-rock miniGod himself doubting his own material? Did we have another Aeroplane Flies High in the mix where you’ll shove all the good shit into a boxset?

Before such questions were answered and around the same time a side project named Djali Zwan was mentioned, the band split like so many bananas in a retaurant… or something like that. Billy sited drug/relationship problems within the band, I personally think he caught someone drinking milk from the carton or something, but whatever.

It’s okay Billy, I’m not mad. I even bought your solo album when it was released (CameraEye FTW!), but seriously, nobody gives a shit about your egomaniacal hissy fits anymore. Time to start mellowing, you bald git.

Oh, and if you cause the Pumpkins to split again, I’m going to hurt you.

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First Impressions: Star Wars – The Force Unleashed

August 28th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Gaming
Aug, 28 2008
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Like many geeks, nerds and nerdy geeks; I love me some Star Wars.

Yeah okay, the prequel trilogy was pretty insipid and felt like more of a soapie with lightsabers rather than part of the saga and I’ve yet to see the new Clone Wars flick, but for the most part, Star Wars represents a large part of my life.

So we have a new game on the way from LucasArts and -despite my faith in the company shattered since they’ve long stopped doing adventure games, I found myself enjoying the demo from Xbox Live. A lot.

In “The Force Unleashed”, you play as Darth Vader’s apprentice, and get to run around being all Sith-y and awesome. People who have played Soul Calibur 4 got a taste of the Apprentice as an unlockable character, and he’s just as broody and evil here.

The mission presented in the demo is set in an imperial space station, apparently Vader was in a bit of a mood or the Galactic Empire’s coffee supplies have run out, as you’re given the objective of killing off both Imperials and Rebels alike before being booted out the door.

The station looks like it was yanked straight from the movies, complete with those stupid little mouse droids. The best part is, pretty much everything is interactive and moveable (including the stationary TIE Fighters in the hangar). Due to this, I’ve spent a great deal of the demo throwing R2 droids out of the windows and throwing crates around… Small things amuse small minds, as they say.

Character models are also beautifully well rendered and animated, and quite easily some of the best character models I’ve seen.

Sound and music, while good is what’s to be expected from a Star Wars game. Everything sounds like it should, which is great.

My main quibble so far, is that there seems to be a problem with the game lagging a bit during huge battles, but hopefully this will be fixed by the time the game ships.

So out of the frightfully short demo, what do I think of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed? It shows a lot of promise and from what I’ve seen and read, it’ll be a great addition to the Star Wars expanded universe, as well as the series as a whole.

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CD Review: An Horse – Not Really Scared

August 19th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Sights and Sounds
Aug, 19 2008
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So I kinda was a bit harsh on An Horse in my DCFC Concert review. I’m a bastard like that.

To make up for poking fun of their name and calling them bastard children of other artists (though admittedly, my calling them as such was positive, kinda), I thought I’d spend a little bit reviewing their debut EP “Not Really Scared”.

For those who TL;DR’d my DCFC review, An Horse are an indie rock duo comprised of Kate Cooper and Damon Cox, who have recently toured with other indie artists such as Tegan and Sara and (of course) Death Cab for Cutie. I also recently found out that they’re from Brisbane, which goes to show that Australia seems to be able to export more than teen angst anthems and pub-rock. Go us.

In one of those bizarre six degrees of seperation twists of fate, An Horse were discovered by Tegan and Sara during an instore appearance at the CD store Kate worked at. To cut a long story short, T&S basically said “hey, you should tour with us”, and off An Horse went, touring the ‘States with reckless abandon… Or something.

“Not Really Scared” opens up with “Postcards”, which just so happened to be one of my favourites from their set last night. From the tracks provided, I really can’t think of a better opening. The rest of the tracks are well written and sound great. Especially the tracks “Warm Hands” and “Company”.

Throughout the CD, it shows which bands they admire and are influenced by. I’m finding it hard to not compare them with Tegan and Sara as they do sound similar in a way (which really, isn’t a bad thing. I love Tegan and Sara). As much as I could whittle off a 30 second paragraph saying “oh, [track] sounds like [band]“, it’d be a cop-out review by that point. That’s not how I roll.

All in all, I can’t see any reason why I shouldn’t recommend An Horse’s debut effort to fans of similar music. What’s on show is definitely a great introduction to the group, though it does leave me wondering whether they could pull off an album’s worth of music and have the same result.

Again, I wish An Horse the best of luck in the future, and if this EP is just the beginning, then their future seems bright.

“Not Really Scared” is available through iTunes and the Valve Records online store

recommended listening: Postcards, Warm Hands, Company.

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Concert Review: Death Cab for Cutie – Live At Enmore Theatre 18/8/08

August 19th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Sights and Sounds
Aug, 19 2008
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It’s been a while since there was an artist I didn’t download (or, if you’re an RIAA supporter, BLATANT STEALING FROM THE ARTIST’S POCKETS!) a few tracks for. In fact, Death Cab for Cutie was the first band in ages I actually bought a single for before committing to an album (mostly because I didn’t have the internet hooked up at the time).

That single was Crooked Teeth, and 3 albums (4, if we’re including Chris Walla’s solo album) and 1 DVD later, I’d say I’m hooked on these indie-rock minstrels. Not to the point where I’m stalking the band or anything, but hooked nonetheless.

So Imagine my delight when a concert was announced at the Enmore Theatre. I heard, I saw, I got in a day late and ended up paying for less-than-stellar seats, which was kinda a blessing really (more on that later).

So we head in and I head straight for the merch table in the hopes they have an overpriced tour T-shirt in fat-man sizes. Which they do. The Ruku is appeased. I also pick up an EP from the opening act, known as “An Horse”. After which we head in and find our seats.

So why were these seats a blessing? It was right above the entrance, which means there was no 8 foot tall giant with an afro sitting in front of us. Woot.

Minutes pass, and An Horse kick off the show.

So who the heck are An Horse aside from an error a grammar nazi will give you hell about? Think the bastard children of Tegan and Sara and The White Stripes, and you’ve pretty much got An Horse in a nutshell… Kinda. They’re really more leaning towards T&S rather than Jack + Meg White. If you want details, they’re a drums/guitar indie rock duo comprised of Kate Cooper (on guitar and vocals) and Damon Cox (on vocals and drums).

Despite the grammar nazi in me questioning their choice of a name (I guess ‘An Hero’ was taken by Kurt Cobain. Yeah, I went there), I was very very impressed by these guys. I really don’t expect much from opening acts I haven’t heard of, and usually it’s these bands that surpass any expectations I have/had and generally put on just as much of a good show as the band I paid money to see in the first place. My only quibble is that some of their songs sounded kinda samey, which -to use whats quickly becoming a catchphrase for me of sorts, doesn’t detract from their performance as a whole. Hell, if Linkin Park can get away with it for 2 albums, surely people will turn a blind eye to An Horse doing it. Besides, why fix whats broken?

All in all, I recommend An Horse. I also hope they stick around for a while, the world needs MOAR AN HORSE!

So An Horse finish and there’s another wait for Death Cab for Cutie who -as much as I tried, really couldn’t get all excited and panty-throwing about to begin with. Partly because I’m still a new(ish) fan of the band and I hardly know many of the songs outside of “Plans” and one or two on “Narrow Stairs”, so it was kinda like a similar experience of hearing your friend’s band play; you don’t know any of the songs and they all look rather silly. It was also partly because in my mind’s eye I thought Ben Gibbard was going to be this short-haired emo-glasses wearing chunky bastard, and not this rather trim looking mop haired chap singing at me.

So this went on for a little while… Until they started playing Crooked Teeth.

At this point, they could have ended the show there and then and I still would have been somewhat happy.

I -along with my wallet, am glad they didn’t. As they put on a fantastic show with some decent songs both recognizable and not-so recognizable for me (and some in between where I worked out what it was after a little while). They played almost all the songs I wanted/expected them to, including one or two extras I forgot about. My night would have been complete if they threw in “Talking Like Turnstiles” from the Crooked Teeth single or a few songs from Chris Walla’s solo album (though, it’s completely understandable that they didn’t do the latter, as it was a Death Cab, not a Chris Walla concert), but other than that, A good night was had.

Sadly, the experience of seeing one of my current favourite bands in concert was ruined somewhat by this noisy prick behind us who -after mere minutes of screaming like a dickhead, I wanted to grab him by the chops and throw him over the railing. Pants-on-head retardedness knows no bounds, it seems.

All I can really suggest amongst this fanboy-raving is if you’re a fan of Death Cab for Cutie (or indie rock in general), you really need to experience this band live. They’re brilliant performers and -so long as you don’t have a noisy asstard behind you, you won’t be disappointed.

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First Impressions: Eternal Sonata(X360)

August 10th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Gaming
Aug, 10 2008
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cover art for the game

It’s a well-known fact I love me some JRPG’s. Shove a copy of Final Fantasy in my face and I’ll eat it up with a fucking spoon.

That being said, it’s a damn shame there’s not really a hell of a lot of decent JRPG’s for the Xbox 360. Blue Dragon (from the little I played) was pretty hit and miss, Enchanted Arms was annoying yet still kinda fun, and I’ve yet to play the 4-disc behemoth Lost Odyssey in fear it sucks me in much like World of Warcraft.

On a whim, I picked up an interesting title known as Eternal Sonata at JB Hi-Fi. I’ve only played 30 seconds of the demo on Xbox Live and didn’t think much of it. I figured for the slick price of $29, I wouldn’t be missing out on much if I hated it.

Thankfully, so far it’s been pretty good.

Eternal Sonata‘s story is quite interesting. The composer Frederic Chopin is on his deathbed and has a dream of a fictional world inspired by his life and music. You initially play as a young girl named Polka, who -due to a terminal illness, can perform magic. You eventually meet up with Chopin and other characters later in the game as an epic journey ensues.

Graphically, the game is top-notch. Utilizing cel-shaded graphics and giving the game a look of a 3D anime of sorts. The character models and environments look fantastic, as does the effects when magic is used.

Sound, also an achievement for the game. Using both original works by Motoi Sakuraba and pieces written by Chopin, played by pianist Stanislav Bunin. Sound effects are also pretty neat, though kinda typical JRPG fare.

Gameplay out of battle is standard sorta stuff. It kinda plays like Final Fantasy X, but with monsters visible and milling about. In battle, however is where the gameplay shines.

The usual route of a JRPG is pretty much select a command and watch the 2 hour long cutscene of your current playable character looking all awesome and ruining some poor monster’s shit. In Eternal Sonata, on the other hand, you are presented with a countdown clock and a selection of actions down the bottom of the screen. While the clock counts down, you have to run up to the monster you’re fighting and beat three shades of crap out of it. Kinda giving the game a neat little halfway point between pointless button mashing and turn based combat.
Any special attacks characters have are influenced by light and dark areas on the map. When in decent light, characters have “light” or “sun” based attacks, while in dark areas, characters have “dark” or “night” based attacks. Sounds kinda confusing, but it’s an innovative and creative technique for the game.

I intend on writing a proper review once I’m done with the game, but so far, I highly recommend it to JRPG fans, even as just a rental.

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I went to EB and all I got was this lousy coaster

August 10th, 2008 Posted in Gaming, Rants
Aug, 10 2008
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Being a hardcore gamer, I love my games. I have more than I can play, and I intend on buying more.

I love them more when I can get them preowned for bargain prices. Thankfully, most stores have a trade-in/preowned dealio going.

What I hate however, is when these stores don’t check the discs before reselling them, and I end up with a disc scratched to the shithouse. Yes, these places also provide a disc-scratch guarantee… thing, but seriously. Getting the bastards rebuffed BEFORE reselling them would actually improve my opinion of said premises, instead of handing me a game that looks like someone’s used it to practice their “3:00am Listening to Nick Cave in the Bathtub” ritual.

I know it’s the risk I’m taking by going preowned, but I don’t want to play Perfect Dark Zero with the EB Games exclusive “Stutterscope”. Fuck that shit, gimme a not-so scratched game you bastards!

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Probably better never than late: A Chris C(r)ocker rant

August 10th, 2008 Posted in Computers & Electronics, Entertainment, Rants
Aug, 10 2008
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Being someone who spends way too much time on the internet, I have my small handful of e-celeb favourites.

My main two being Ben Croshaw and Nate Burr (Yahtzee and Blunty3000, respectively). Others include Maddox, [GM]Dave (runs Bannable Offences), Azrael (runs Gaijin Smash), and Tucker Max.

I’m also prepared to give anything a chance. Even the man-hating lesbian tirades the housemate sends me. Most of them I like, too.

There is however, one person I cannot and will not like, ever.

This manbeast y’all may know as Chris Crocker (or insipid fuckstain, if you share the same opinion as me). Best known as the “Leave Britney Alone” guy, who is simultaneously loved, loathed and parodied by everyone.

I really don’t find the guy funny, not even in that homophobic “hah! look at the fag! Laugh at the fag!” sorta way. There is simply nothing to like about him. I find him to be pathetic, in that “I’m funny! Really! Watch as I draw attention to myself!”

Before you start assuming things, it’s NOT the gay thing. I like gay people. I couldn’t give a shit if Crocker was gay, straight, bi, black, white, yellow, blue…

Hell, It’d be awesome if he was blue. He’d be a lanky mongoloid attention whore smurf-like creature.

In any case, the fact he’s a raging homosexual matters not to The Ruku. The Ruku is tolerant of all walks of life, even if he does find some of them kinda weird. (more on that later, no doubt).

It’s the fact he’s totally and utterly obnoxious to the point of even making Jay (of Jay and Silent Bob fame) blush. It’s the fact that his 5 minute long diatribes about complete and utter bullshit are simply not all that funny. To hit this a little closer to home, Crocker reminds me of that guy in every social group who tries to fit in with the normally accepting crowd, but epically fails to the point where nobody likes him. Another analysis would be the guy who simply tries too hard to be funny and again, epically. fucking. fails.

It’s the fact that -for what he is, he’s extremely arrogant and thinks he’s God’s gift to the internet (or at least, YouTube), Case in point? His latest whinge-fest about how he’s leaving YouTube. His response to the fact that his 15 minutes of fame is waning is filled with so much immaturity and bitterness you’d think he uses Lemon Squeazy as mouthwash.

Even when he is being rather reserved (for someone who’s batshit insane), I don’t like him. In some of his “normal” videos, he still manages to be an obnoxious fucknut. The fact he manages to do this is beyond confusing. I guess it’s the fact that every “normal” video he does, there’s ten more of him dancing around like a fucking toilet-fishing retard.

I mean, yeah.. I guess Blunty’s equally longer diatribes about complete and utter bullshit are sometimes grating on my nerves too, but at least he kinda has an idea on how to put a humorous spin on things to redeem himself a little (ironically, the one Blunty3000 video where -without fail, I’ll look for more interesting pastures is his 10 minute long rant about Chris Crocker)

I had more to write, but frankly, I’ve wasted enough time dribbling on about this talentless bottom feeder.

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Movie Review: The Chronicles of Narnia – Prince Caspian

August 4th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Sights and Sounds
Aug, 04 2008
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Originally posted on The Rukuboard. June 15, 2008

I have never taken an active interest in The Chronicles of Narnia. I read a few of the books back in the day, and I remember watching the oh-so-80′s miniseries in school, but that’s about it. If anything, the only thing I remember learning from the books is that hiding in a closet takes you to a fantasy land with lots of snow and some guy named Mr. Tumnus, and that witches carry around turkish delight to entice children into helping them.

Oh, and that turkish delight is fucking awesome.

With this in mind I reluctantly went and saw the new movie from the recent incarnation of the series, “Prince Caspian”. I walked in with the firm idea that this was going to be another money-grabbing shitfest of a film, I walked out pleasantly surprised.

I didn’t see the first film, nor did I really sit down and watch it when a friend of mine bought it over (I think I was getting my fantasy-land fix from World of Warcraft or something), so aside from the fact that it “all looks rather pretty”, I didn’t know what to expect.

The movie begins with a child being born, and Caspian being helped out of the castle by some old guy who looked a hell of a lot like Albus Dumbledore from the first two Harry Potter flicks. A chase into a forest ensues, and the Prince blows some horn thing and then gets clonked on the head by a fugly-ass dwarf bastard. Without spoiling it, the four children from the first movie are once again transported to Narnia where epic battles ensue and Prince Caspian fags up the place by being an overemotional emo shitwhistle.

“Prince Caspian” works well both as part of the series and as a stand alone movie, and -while it helps if you’re unfamiliar with the series, I feel you don’t need to see the first to undersand the second (though with TCoN being pretty much ingrained in the minds of anyone not born under several rocks guarded by a fat woman with a meat cleaver, you’re at least in my postition where you’ve read some of the novels or are otherwise aware that the series exists). The dialogue is well-written and the actors do a great job of portraying their characters, the titular Prince is too much of a angst-ridden cockbrain for my liking, but not too much that it ruined the film in any way.

The camerawork and direction seemed pretty tight and the special effects/cgi are awesome without jumping on the same bandwagon occupied by the second and third Matrix films and the Star Wars prequels. It’s CGI as how it should be used without crossing into the realms of looking like a video game.

All in all, ‘Prince Caspian’ was an enjoyable experience, and I’ll go so far to say this might even rekindle my interest in the Narnia series… Or at least warrants another DVD to shove onto my backlog.

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CD Review Double Header: Kaki King – Dreaming of Revenge and Valve – The Orange Box OST

August 4th, 2008 Posted in Entertainment, Sights and Sounds
Aug, 04 2008
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Originally posted on The Rukuboard. July 29, 2008

Kaki King – Dreaming of Revenge

Kaki King was one of the artists I discovered alongside Tegan and Sara and Death Cab for Cutie in that weird six degrees of audio production effort known as T&S’s “The Con”. I didn’t get heavily into her music until I leeched a copy of “Everybody Loves You” off of a friend. After hearing tracks like “Carmine Street”, “Kewpie Station” and “Close Your Eyes And You’ll Burst Into Flames”, I was hooked. Well, at least enough to buy a copy of said album.

So 2 more albums (downloaded. I suck, I know.) later, and I happen to find a copy of Kaki’s new album “Dreaming of Revenge” in JB Hi-Fi.
This was awesome for two reasons: 1) it means JB Hi-Fi stocks shit I actually like. (Now get some fucking Freezepop in you bastards!) and 2) It means I don’t have to pay exorbidant prices to get it online.

After a good 3 or so listens, it seems Kaki hasn’t lost her touch, as “Dreaming of Revenge” is tight. Opening up with “Bone Chaos In The Castle”, ‘Dreaming Of Revenge’ is a great mixture of what was musically explored on her past albums without sounding like more of the same (a common trap some instrumental artists fall into, unfortunately). A lot of the music on ‘Dreaming of Revenge’ is in that surreal experimental/shoegazing crowd where it almost seems like a not-so electronic Boards of Canada album.

Like her previous effort, “Until We Felt Red”, Kaki also does some vocal work on this album. While only doing so on a few tracks, it adds a bit of flavour to an already tasty album. It does get a bit jarring on the tracks ‘Life Being What It Is’ and ’2 O’Clock’ in places, but nothing that ultimately detracts from the album as a whole.

All in all, ‘Dreaming of Revenge’ is a great album by one of the greatest guitarists out there today. It’s also a good introduction to her work if you haven’t found out about her already.

recommended listening: Chaos In The Bone Castle, Pull Me Out Alive, So Much For So Little.

Valve – The Orange Box OST

I was a latecomer to the Half-Life fanbase, really only getting into the first game when everyone and their dog was raving about Half Life 2, and eventually missing out on the launch of the sequel entirely because the computer I was using at the time sucked more cock than a cheap hooker.

So you can guess I was coloured pretty tickled pink when I heard about The Orange Box. A compilation of all three Half Life 2 games, a sequel to Team Fortress and a quirky little puzzle game called Portal. I saw, I rented, I fucking loved.

But enough about video games. Y’all might think I’m some sort of overweight, friendless basement dweller who sits around the house drinking coffee and living in an Xbox-powered fantasy land.

Oh, wait…

So to continue my proverbial fellating of Valve Software’s cock (No, I don’t know why there’s so many dick-sucking references either, so don’t ask), I shelled out $10 for a copy of the official OST to ‘The Orange Box’. Despite having two mixes of the damn song, I didn’t buy it for ‘Still Alive’. I had already played the song to death by this point, and I wanted to see what else TOB had to offer by the way of ear candy.

Ear candy indeed. The music featured on the compilation is fantastic. From the quasi-industrial music from HL2 to the 70′s spy movie-esque tracks from Team Fortress 2, to the electronic soundscapes of Portal, it’s hard to find fault in the music from the games beyond the fact it’s all kinda samey. The music works well in terms of atmosphere both in and out of the game, and it’s hard to find a reason why Valve shouldn’t bring out a soundtrack for their games.

Despite my continued Valve fellating and fanboy raving, The Orange Box OST falters a bit. While giving listeners a good selection of the music in each game, it would have fared better as a 2CD set with a bit more to offer. I would have loved to hear a bit more music from the game. Hell, I would have settled for a complete set of the voices used for the turrets in Portal if they were at a lack of tracks to throw on there.

A minor saving grace to this is a previously unreleased mix of “Still Alive”, featuring Jonathan Coulton on vocals. Despite being a neat little addition, I would have preferred an acoustic version over just a mix with someone else singing.

If you’re a fan of TOB already (or just game soundtracks… or electronic music in general), it’d be kinda worth your while to buy the soundtrack. While Valve could have offered more, the Orange Box OST delivers enough to keep you happy. Even if it is just chucked on as background music.

recommended listening (aside from ‘Still Alive’): “Team Fortress 2″, “Disrupted Original”, “Combine Advisory”, “Subject Name Here”

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Teh w1z4rd 0f 0zz0rz (An IRC version of The Wizard Of Oz)

August 4th, 2008 Posted in Old Stuff
Aug, 04 2008
2 Comments »

Introduction:

I don’t know what prompted me to start this. I was talking to Sally/Mifuyne at the time. That’s about all I remember.

—-

Dorothy has just entered #Kansas
<Dorothy>: Omg! I’m in black and white! this is not teh sex!
<Toto>: u need a new monitor, d00d.
<Cranky_Old_Witch>: liek, fux j00 Dorothy! u fsuking n00b!
*Cranky_Old_Witch cackles rides past on her bike
*Dorothy is now playing: “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.mp3″
Random_Tornado has just entered #Kansas
<Dorothy>: omg! A tornado!
<@Random_Tornado>: Like, no shit?… fucking n00b
*Random_Tornado is now playing: “Tornado/Witch music.mp3″
Dorothy has been kicked from #Kansas by Random_Tornado
Toto has been kicked from #Kansas by Random_Tornado
<@Random_Tornado>: Owned!
Quit: Random_Tornado

Dorothy has just entered #Oz
Toto has just entered #Oz
W1ck3d_W17ch_0f_T3h_3a57: OMGHAX!
Quit: W1ck3d_W17ch_0f_T3h_3a57 (owned by house)
<Dorothy>: I don’t think we’re in #Kansas anymore, Toto.
<Toto>: I could have told you that.
<@/\/\unc|-|k1n_1> Hi Dorothy and Toto
<@/\/\unc|-|k1n_2> y0! W3lc0m3 T0 0zz0rz,
<@/\/\unc|-|k1n_3> omg! you owned W1ck3d_W17ch_0f_T3h_3a57!
*/\/\unc|-|k1n_3 is now playing: “Ding-Dong The Witch Is Dead.mp3″
White_Witch has entered #Oz
<@White_Witch>: Hello Dorothy, I am here to help you
<Dorothy>: omg, where am I?
<@White_Witch>: You’re in #Oz
<Dorothy>: I wanna go back to #Kansas
<@/\/\unc|-|k1n_1> Already? fsuking n00b!
/\/\unc|-|k1n_1 was kicked from #Oz by White_Witch (Be nice)
/\/\unc|-|k1n_1 has entered #Oz
<@White_Witch>: You need to follow the yellow brick road, and then go to the Emerald City, to see The Wizard Of Oz.
~W1kk3d W1tch~ has entered #Oz
<~W1kk3d W1tch~>: Bwahahahaha!!! j00 will never leave here alive!
<@White_Witch>: Shit off, we hate you with a passion
<~W1kk3d W1tch~>: I SHAN’T!
*White_Witch has set: +b !@wickedwitches.landofoz.net
<~W1kk3d W1tch~>: Ugh, okay, I’m leaving…
Quit: ~W1kk3d W1tch~ (I’ll get you, my pretty… and your little dog, too.)
<@White_Witch>: Anyway, follow the yellow brick road
*/\/\unc|-|k1n_2 has changed the channel topic to ‘ Follow the yellow brick road’
*@/\/\unc|-|k1n_3 is now playing: “Follow The Yellow Brick Road.mp3″
<Dorothy>: Thanks everyone!
Quit: Dorothy (following the yellow brick road)
Quit: Toto (following Dorothy)

(some time later)

Dorothy has entered #Field
Toto has entered #Field
<Scarecrow>: Hi there
<Dorothy>: Hi Mr. Scarecrow
*Toto humps Dorothy’s leg
<Scarecrow>: Can you help me down from here?
*Dorothy helps Scarecrow
<Scarecrow>: Wanna cyber?
<Dorothy>: OMFG! NO!
*Dorothy starts to leave
<Scarecrow>: come back! I’m sorry… I don’t have a brain…
<Toto>: No shit…
<Dorothy>: You don’t have a brain?
<Scarecrow>: I don’t have a brain…
*Scarecrow is now playing: “If I Only Had A Brain.mp3″
<Dorothy>: omg, that sucks… Toto and I need to see the Wizard, perhaps you can come with us.
<Scarecrow>: okay.
Quit: Dorothy (Off to see the Wizard)
Quit: Toto (The Wonderful Wizard of Oz)
Quit: Scarecrow (You’ll find he is a whiz of a Wiz! If ever a Wiz there was!)

(In #Wiccan)

<~W1kk3d W1tch~>: Stupid girl…. she’s falling right into my trap…
<W1tchy_w0m4n>: omfg, wut a n00b!
<~W1kk3d W1tch~>: yeah, heh.

(some time later)

Dorothy has entered #forest
Toto has entered #forest
Scarecrow has entered #forest
<Dorothy>: Hey! what’s that?
<Toto>: It looks to be a human computer.
<Scarecrow>: Ooh! Does it run Linux?
<Tinman>: I’m a tinman you fuckwit.
<Scarecrow>: Ah, Windows…. what a shame.
<Dorothy>: A Tinman?
<Tinman>: Yes, a tinman… see that can of oil over there?
<Dorothy>: Yeah
<Dorothy>: Pick that up and oil my joints willya? I’m stuck here
*Dorothy picks up the oil and oils Tinman
*Tinman starts moving his joints and breathes a sigh of relief
<Tinman>: Now…. where the fuck’s my axe?
<Dorothy>: Why do you need an axe?
<Tinman>: So I can cut your dog up and take it’s heart
*Toto slaps Tinman with a trout
<Dorothy>: Why would you want to do that?
<Tinman>: Because I don’t have a heart
<Dorothy>: You don’t have a heart?
*Tinman is now playing: If I Only Had A Heart.mp3
<Toto>: Oh for the love of Black Jeebus.

–

It has been long since abandoned. I don’t know if I’ll bother finishing it. Means I have to watch The Wizard of Oz… *shudder*

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